Leaving the Family

For the longest time I have always dreamed of that family that was disfunctional yet caring and supportive... My family has the disfunctional part down, but there is hardly any love or support... I'm done with trying to be apart of the family im in. I've tried helping to set them a place to start a live from the situations they grew up in but its just that all over again they still haven't learned they still haven't grown up and I am getting screwed over because of it... Its funny now that I have been at my dad's with my step mom and dad who hardly knows me, threw me a surprise party for my birthday which I stopped celebrating since '06 because of the family drama. It's a completely different environment here... I am starting to have a life and met so many awesome people and made some awesome friends. And there are a few that have opened my eyes a little more and just have inspired me to be better, faster, stronger in life... They give me someone to finally look up to, even though right now in life this year has been the biggest emotional stuggle and the hurdles of life has struck me down on more than one occasion, so me being better, faster, strong has gotten off to the wrong foot. However, its starting to sink in that I can be awesome too. These people, (Will, Ryan, Moses, Tim, Kiara, Tracy and most importantly Diana and Victor) have gotten me to think and wonder about my life, what I can change, what I can do for me to enjoy life while working hard to not have to worry so much... With that said I can't take care of my family or even try until I can take care of myself, and with the way things are going the have made this truly an uphill battle. I think its time that I admit that my biological family is not really a family at all and I need to just leave them be. I need to seperate myself not further but completely. Its really bad to say because my life has not been that bad, but im tired of living a mediocre life, I am tired of having raggidy clothes, beat up car, worn out shoes, hardly anything nice, because I need to work to support a household that can't even support itself... I am 23 and the youngest of the bunch and struggling... I can't do this anymore I feel like I am spread way to fucking thin. I can't juggle this shit anymore... And for those that don't know I decided to get a house cause the house my family was in was way to small for all of us and we needed something that could start us on our lives... So I own a house in Lancaster, I bought my very first working car, I was working a minimum wage job in Lancaster, then I started going to school full time, picked up another job, got to play rugby one season, been poor, never had the time to really get out and have a life been driving and making sure I get to work and school and still have time to do homework and sleep make practice when I played, been single for 4 years now so the heart department has been really weak... Most of my time is spent driving and there are a few things that I probably missed here and there but its been pretty fucking busy for me... I need some time off I need time to relax. Granted lately I have been able to go out a lil more but its not doing anything for me... Its just alot and I am fucking tired and frustrated and at 23 I shouldnt be worrying about all this fucking shit... I am throwing in half of my white towel I can't do it anymore...