The Phoenix

I am starting to come to a realization that I am like a phoenix. I have such great highs but then I come dropping down and slowly built up again. I would say right now in my life I am hanging in there. Again to self evaluate I see that I am emotional and that isn't necessarily a bad thing but I can't let it from stopping me from doing the things to help transcend myself. Right now I have just been here at home for the past week hardly stepping outside not even going anywhere. Been trying to create things that just aren't working out and getting frustrated. I am also noticing that I don't push myself as hard as I should and I always wonder why? Maybe its because I have no Goals, no Ambitions, no Drive to be better. I have no standard I want to reach and thus I am here in my embryotic state as my mind and body forms for the birth of me to start learning to start finding what I enjoy and love again. However this time around I don't want it to fade. Maybe I just need to sit down and ask me the basic questions in life that I hardly know the answers too. I need to stop saying maybe and have a solid answer. I should stop being so coy and speak up. I should stop concerning so much about my self and more for my well being. I should stop to consider that if I keep on the path that I am going I will end up homeless, without fast communication, without worldly knowledge. I should see the things that are wrong and just fix them instead of asking why. But rather remember the reason why is cause it will be better in the long run, because no one will be there to take care of you when you are older. Sometimes I just got to let myself cry cause Phoenix tears do have healing powers...