Power of the Heart

It's been awhile since I have been here. I use this place as a place to vent due to the fact that I haven't found someone to connect with on the same level. I am not saying I don't have friends but just not with friends in the same mindset as mine... Recently I have been feeling lost in a sense of am I doing what I am supposed to be doing. There was a speech Steve Jobs gave in 2005 at Standford university for their commencement, he said "Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become." I have kept this with me for a while and I dunno i am trying so hard to listen but with everything that has been going on I can't focus. I just seem to be floating in the stream of space... I came across this book titled "The Power of the Heart" by Baptist of Pape. It talks about asking the heart and the listening... But all that I tend to feel in my heart is Love and how I am missing it. It's like if I were to just have that, that I can reach the stars because by myself I can't. I need a boost, in a way I almost feel like Tink in the sense I need someone to believe in me for me to be alive and do what I was meant to do in my life. The friends that I do have some might understand but that is slim to none and frankly on a spiritual level with a more serious tone I no one has. Its weird deep down I feel like I haven't shown my true self to anyone, or that I have been able to be in the capacity to show my true self... It makes since that because I don't have that person I can see on a regular basis a person that understands me more fully that I am losing myself more and more. The man I am is just a memory almost and with the years going by it just fades the memory just gets blurrier and blurrier... My heart is trying to let me know but I can hardly understand it. I just don't know what to do anymore except just sit here in a slump. I can work I can do things but everything I do or try isn't fulfilling and I don't know why... I don't understand with the life I have that I can't just be truly happy on my own... I just don't understand this power that my heart is trying to give me....